


It's Me Thats Hurting You

by DrizzlyMango



Series: Your Pain is My Pain [2]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Child Abuse, descriptions of violence, soulmate- shared pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:33:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21903781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrizzlyMango/pseuds/DrizzlyMango
Summary: Sanji didn't believe in soulmates, not until he met the his soul bonded, green-haired disaster of a crewmate.
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Series: Your Pain is My Pain [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566631
Comments: 6
Kudos: 417





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is Sanji's section of this series. 
> 
> ***WARNING: Mentions of past child abuse!!! This really should be a warning in the archive warnings section (past abuse in general)***
> 
> (DM Note: I'm making a 3rd installment to this series that details their reactions afterwards and personal indulgence, so keep an eye out for updates as well as that.)

Sanji had never placed his trust in a higher power. His theory was that if there was a God they wouldn’t have placed him with the brutal reality that was the Vinsmoke family. To this day he’d never understood what his kind-hearted mother, an angel of a woman, saw in the man Judge Vinsmoke. He’d never fully understood the concepts of soulmates either. He knew that there had to be some sort of fundamental reason for why two people should be together. But he’d always wondered why his parents were soulmates. What had that spiteful god wanted out of this union.

Growing up had been awful. He was the black sheep of the family, without a doubt. Where his siblings excelled and grew into their freakish abilities he’d lagged behind. His brothers had been the worst. They took whatever Judge said as truth and took it upon themselves to exact justice on his behalf. More often than not it was in regards to Judge’s comments on Sanji’s uselessness. His brothers reminded him of that daily, heck maybe even hourly. Reiju was his only ally, but she had an air to uphold. The others weren’t allowed to know of her care for her younger brother. 

Sanji’s dreams never coincided with what his family’s motives were. He wanted a simple life. He wanted to be able to enjoy his life and pursue his passion of cooking. It’s a skill developed over time. He knew that, but it didn’t discourage him from wanting to keep with it. Cooking is a valuable skill after all, just as valuable as fighting. 

He’d sneak away to learn and practice but that just broadened the target already on his back. When he cooked it was a momentary escape from the horrors known as his siblings. They terrorized him. They did it like it was going out of style. 

The constant berating and brutal beatings were Sanji’s normal. He’d never thought much on it. He was always in some sort of dull pain, either from fresh beatings or lingering pain from past ones. Sometimes he could have sworn that he’d felt phantom pain from injuries he didn’t remember receiving, but that could have been his faulty memory. All the injuries blurred together after a while.

He remembered the spiraling descent after his mother got sick. How his father had turned even crueler. How he’d been disowned and left in the dungeons to rot. How scared and upset he was. He knew that this isn’t how most families are. He realized that it wasn’t normal.

He knows he owes his life to his sister. The only one in his family, aside from his mother, of course, that had a shred of decency. Reiju helped get him out, she gave him a fighting chance in the world. The opportunity to begin anew. 

And on the other side of that path he’d found Red-Leg Zeff. He was infinitely grateful for all that man had taught him. How he’d been much more of a father to him than his own blood. Zeff had encouraged his cooking passion, helped to nurture that talent. He’d also been the one to explain soulmates to him when Sanji sliced his fingers one too many times in the early stages of learning to cook. He’d been horrified after that.

All the trauma he’d endured as a child, another had to experience. It may not have been to the same degree, but still. He’d been sick for days, the guilt nestling deep in his gut.

  
  


It was some years later that he came face to face with his soulmate. A green-haired idiot who challenged the greatest swordsman in the world to a duel. While Sanji is a firm believer in chasing your dreams, chasing an early grave was not part of the plan. He’d felt the cut, the stinging of skin being split before the itching, burning sensation warmed over his torso. Sanji’s grip on the wood of the Baratie was a testament to that. He’d met the man who’d shouldered his pain for years, who’d been strong enough to fight through his own pain. 

The dots were all connecting at this point, knowing his soulmate was a swordsman explained so much about Sanji’s phantom pain.

Sanji knew for sure then. There was no true God because there was no way that a God could shackle him to this big of an idiot.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While risking yourself over others is very noble the dumbass swordsman never seemed to think about the fact that he was tied to another human being.

Life aboard the Going Merry had been fascinating. Sanji realized very quickly Zoro had no idea that their pain was linked. Sanji had felt the slice in his ankles back when they were Helping Vivi. He knew Zoro was an idiot… well actually Zoro was incredibly smart, he just gave zero fucks. He couldn’t be bothered to use his brain for things that weren’t instinct. It was infuriating. 

Time went on and Zoro’s injuries hadn’t been too severe. Granted Sanji is pretty desensitized to pain after his childhood, it’s both a blessing and a curse. They’d all gotten more than a few bumps and scrapes along their journey. He knew his short temper with the swordsman was due to this carefree, zero-fucks-given attitude. 

While risking yourself over others is very noble the dumbass swordsman never seemed to think about the fact that he was tied to another human being. He knew his mounting frustration was visible to their crew archaeologist. 

Robin was far too keen for her own good.

It seemed that she made the association between the two after an unfortunate rival pirate gang had picked the wrong fight with the crew. It was obvious from the pitying glances she’d send his way after Zoro did something particularly stupid. Something that happened to affect both of them. 

There were instances where Sanji really didn’t understand Zoro. The Swordsman had watched Nami punch him into the next decade but there he was rubbing the back of his head like he couldn’t for the life of him figure it out. He’d just continued rubbing his head and blinked. That was the only reaction. 

Another time was when Sanji misjudged a kick and ended up being skimmed by a bullet. The searing heat and the cut itself didn’t manifest on Zoro’s body. Not in the way Sanji had experienced it. But Sanji saw Zoro stumble while fighting a random pirate in the port they’d stopped by. Zoro’s balance was off and he dropped to his knee, hard. The phantom impact reverberated through Sanji’s leg making him grit his teeth. 

There were so many blaring signs that would have been obvious to anyone. Sanji had his suspicions that the rest of the crew were beginning to sense a pattern, make those connections. 

You see… Zoro… he tended to have self-sacrificing tendencies. I mean everyone aboard the ship had some sort of unresolved issue. Luffy was a dumbass most of the time. He missed the main point more often than not, but there were undertones of something else there. Sanji decided it was best not to pry. Usopp was a pathological liar. Nami is an angel that could never do any wrong, only misfortune had shaped her upbringing shaped her into the lovely woman she was now. Chopper had suffered a loss, as many of them had, but he had turned his pain into something productive. He channeled his loss into something to help others. If anything that made Sanji respect the little reindeer more than some of the rest of the crew. Robin was nothing short of amazing. Sure she too suffered from the Straw Hat curse of self-sacrifice, but she’d lost everything. The government had broken her down to the point she thought herself meaningless. Franky… He had been dealt a bad card and had worked with it. Brook was a sob story and a half. He had adopted the guardian role over much of the crew. He would rather die than watch the rest of the crew suffer. Zoro was like that too.

He’d jump in and sacrifice himself no matter what. It was almost like he thought that was what the world demanded. His life as payment for another. That much was evident by the events of Thriller Bark, even before that Zoro would throw himself in harm's way to save his nakama. But after his encounter with Kuma, when he purposely knocked Sanji unconscious, he’d taken on all of Luffy’s pain and suffering. What Zoro didn’t realize was how much pain that had caused the cook. 

Sanji was in so much pain it sucked the breath right out of him. His head was pounding and he had to smile through it. Robin sent him a knowing look, glancing between the unconscious and heavily bandaged Zoro, and himself. Brook too had seen love, he’d never spoken of it but they assumed he’d met his soulmate prior to joining their crew. Sanji had, had to do damage control and get Brook to keep his mouth shut. He knew Zoro didn’t do it for the notiority. 

When Zoro had awoken, Sanji was on him in an instant, he’d tried to get it through the swordsman’s thick skull that his martar tendencies were selfish. He wasn’t just hurting himself. He saw something flash behind Zoro’s eyes as he’d shoved Sanji off. 

He’d later apologized and agreed to do a sort of check in with Sanji, just like the cook would do with him. It’s easier to share your pain Sanji realized. 

There was some lingering guilt there but it's not like any of them would pry. The crew all knew Zoro had a damn near panic attack any time anyone fell or lost their balance, especially if it was linked to stairs. Sanji knew that many times, hell the only time, Zoro was vulnerable was when he was plied with a shiton of alcohol. But that seemed like a sacred line. Something no one dared cross. They all had their secrets. 

Luffy having more than one brother and the circumstances that brought him and Ace closer. Zoro and his issues with falling and why he took it easy on women in the middle of a fight. Usopp and his grand stories, his desperate cries for attention. Nami and her cold attitude because it was easier to push people away than let them in and lose them. Chopper and his master, his motivation that stemmed from a good-natured accident. Robin against the world and how its hard for her to live up to the value that others placed on her life. Franky and the loss of a mentor, being cast aside. Brook losing an entire crew and returning to his body decades too late. All of them have issues they conceal, things they pray the others don’t mention. 

So far no one has mentioned it. Sanji knows he tenses when they’re with children especially watching them suffer. He knows hes overly passionate about cooks and their rights. Its rough. But its their life. It’s their normal. 

Speaking of normal. Luffy’s laugh rang out across the deck. He, Usopp, and Franky were all taking turns stacking things on top of the sleeping swordsman. Sanji had the distinct feeling that Zoro was awake and was just pretending to sleep for their sake. Chopper and Brook were doing commentary from the sidelines, marveling at how they’d just stacked cola crates atop Zoro’s swords. The Firstmate would definitely throw Luffy overboard for that. 

Sanji heard the familiar crowing of a rival pirate gang looking to make a name for themselves by besting the Straw hats in a fight. Just their luck. 

Zoro grunted, letting out a strangled sound as all the stacked items came tumbling down on him. Sanji cringed through the bumps, that crate of scrap metal was by far the worst. 

“Brace for a fight” Luffy cheered. Not all that commanding. His tone was more along the lines of kick their asses and have fun with it. 

It would be fine.

  
  
  


That's a lie. Things were not fine. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well theres only one more chapter of this story. I will be posting another piece to the series that picks up where this and "It Hurts to Love You" leave off. I'm not sure how far I'll take that story yet but its going to be at least a couple chapters so I hope you'll enjoy that. I have a few other One Piece stories planned so be on the look out for those. 
> 
> DM Note: So I wrote this chapter while I was tipsy so I hope it makes sense. I went through and edited the really rough parts out. (As much as I would have loved to keep, "Because he was being a little bitch" in there as explanations for things I decided that no, they should not be hard on Brook.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He needed to tell Zoro. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for part 3 of this series which is a collection of chapters going into (some) detail about their lives after learning about the bond.

Sanji grunted, trying to fend off the men who worked to overpower him. He’d been knocked off balance. Normally he could tune out Zoro’s own injuries but this. Nope, this one he couldn’t fight. Maybe it was the acknowledgement or the proximity. 

The men pinned him in a moment of distraction. Sanji wheezed violently as a knee landedon his sternum, forcing the air from his lungs. 

Sure they’d gotten him down but he wasn’t about to make it easy for them. Sanji felt ice in his veins as he took in the clear liquid dripping off the blade. Not water, too thick to be the sea water. It didn't smell of salt either, it was sickeningly sweet. They were using poisoned daggers. 

Sanji could do nothing to defend himself from the broad stroke of the weapon. Sanji writhed. The pain wasn’t instantaneous. It was almost numbing before the fire bloomed across the wound. The pain was deep and itching. But the poison felt like someone doused him in fire. 

Sanji vaguely registered the blood leaking from his torso. He could hear a faint pause in fighting, before it picked up with vigor. He saw a blur of green that his pain-muddled brain told him was Zoro. But Sanji was trying to hold onto his consciousness through the men kicking and punching him. 

Zoro cut them down, he was entirely ruthless, his eyes were hard. His face morphed and blurred in front of Sanji. The cook tried blinking out of it, tried to focus on Zoro. he knew better than his green-haired companion what the other must be feeling.

“ ‘m s’rry Z’ro” Sanji rasped, fingers clenching in the fabric of Zoro’s haramaki. 

“Stop, don’t talk,” Zoro pleaded eyes scanning the rest of the deck. 

“ no, ‘t’s not,” Sanji paused to cough, eyes flying wide as the cough turned wet. Sanji rolled slightly to the side, spitting blood with his next coughs. 

This wasn’t how he was supposed to tell him. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Sanji and Robin had been placing bets on how long it would take Zoro to figure it out. Sanji wanted to win damn it. But he could tell Zoro was panicking. He was way too tense next to him. He could hear Zoro yelling, but his brain wasn’t processing. 

“CHOPPER!” Zoro yelled. “CHOPPER! SANJI IS REALLY HURT-” 

He needed to tell Zoro. 

Sanji fumbled at Zoro’s shirt, trying to shut him up. He’d been aiming for his face but he was on fire, but that kind of icy fire. The kind where you were so cold everything felt like an inferno, and everything was heavy. 

“Zoro, I’m sorry,” Sanji managed before he felt himself slip unconscious.

* * *

Sanji faintly registered a pressure on his hand. He felt his brows crease, he tried to sit up, but his body protested the movement. Sanji slowly breathed out, eyes still closed as he listened. He knew that voice anywhere. 

Zoro. 

“I know you think I’m a dumbass, and you know, maybe you’re right for once swirly,” Zoro relaxed his grip.

Sanji fought the urge to hold his breath. He peeked his eyes open committing this to memory. His eyes roving over Zoro’s face, taking in the slight tremble of his hand.

“I have no idea how long you’ve known, and I realize now that you’ve known much longer than I have. It explains a lot if you did actually. I still can’t believe that I didn’t notice this sooner. I just…” Zoro sighed. 

Sanji fought the urge to laugh. 

“I just never thought I deserved a soulmate. I knew I had one, but I just never dreamt it would be real. Half the time I was convinced it was imagination playing tricks on me. That it was all in my head. And when we sparred,” 

Sanji blinked against tears. He tried to keep his emotions from making his hand twitch. He wanted to hear this. He wanted to understand Zoro. 

“It should have been obvious, but I had myself convinced that you couldn’t be my soulmate because I didn’t deserve that sort of kindness from the world. I know I’m not good with words, but realizing you love someone when you can’t reach them… realizing it when it feels too late…” Zoro drew in a shaky breath, “It sucks,”

Zoro’s eyes blinked open against his tears. He met Sanji’s wide eyes, and they too were lined with unshed tears. 

“How-” Zoro’s voice cracked.

“How much did you hear,” Zoro his voice pitched, his blush radiating. 

“From when you thought I was right,” Sanji said, letting a dopey smile past his guard. Zoro made an afronted sound. 

“Is it true, what you just said.”

Sanji knew. His smile widened as he saw Zoro struggling. The other male mumbling and blushing even harder. Sanji could physically feel his blush against the hand Zoro was still holding. 

“What was that?” Sanji teased, smirking, he’d understood, but this… This moment was something he’d been craving for years. 

“Why would I lie, idiot,” he grumbled, pressing his lips to Sanji’s knuckles.

“Awwww Marimo, you do have feelings,” 

“Shut up,” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me go. Multiple updates in one day. Wooo. We'll see how many I actually get around to.


End file.
